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“Leos have a way of saying things with a very sarcastic flair.” – Sylvia Browne
Who, me? Nah.
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Joyeuse Halloween
Pages Written: 4 pages, and I'm DONE!!!!
A friend of mine, Terri Schaefer, turned me on to this, and it's just too fun not to share. Gotta love a dancing skeleton! 
Le Squelette Danse
And Happy Halloween!
Saturday, October 30, 2004 @ 08:36 AM CST [link]
Word Count
Pages Written: 4...and the usual revisions
A friend sent me this a few days ago, I finally had a chance to explore it a little. VERY enlightening.
From the website:
"WordCount™ is an artistic experiment in the way we use language. It presents the 86,800 most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonality. Each word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance. The larger the word, the more we use it. The smaller the word, the more uncommon it is."
And:
"The goal is for the user to feel embedded in the language, sifting through words like an archaeologist through sand, awaiting the unexpected find. Observing closely ranked words tells us a great deal about our culture. For instance, “God” is one word from “began”, two words from “start”, and six words from “war”."
I found it interesting to type in words to see where they ranked, and then find that often the more unusual the word, the more common the word right next to it. And vice versa. For example, I hit the rank of 81551 with the word "malcontent." Right next to it in space 81550 was the word "nafferton." (The word count comes from a wide sampling of English speaking sources worldwide.)
I think the MOST interesting thing was to check the Querycount feature, which shows which words are queried the most frequently. Honestly, I was surprised. Not once did ANY of the words listed up front even come into my mind. Just goes to show how humans think--how incredibly simple and vulgar we are. How sad. 
Thursday, October 28, 2004 @ 07:33 AM CST [link]
THE Plan
Pages Written: 4 and more revisions (almost done!)
Seems like lately everyone is discussing THE plan. The Career Plan. After reading all these discussions, I realized that I had no plan. Not really. I mean, I had this vague idea of where I wanted to go depending on what I sold first. But there were SO many ifs. I hate ifs.
So I sat down and started thinking about why I don't have a more solid, reasonable plan. Jordan says it comes down to fear. I've never really believed that (in my case, anyway,) because what is there to fear? Success? That never made sense to me. Failure? Well, maybe. I hate failing. But the fear of failure has never kept me from trying something. I like to push myself.
What kind of fear could be holding me back, then, if not for fear of success or failure? Then I realized that in my case, it's superstition. See, I have the worst luck on the planet, and this year has been awful as far as that goes. So I've been afraid to say out loud or write down (or even THINK) what I need to do, because I'm afraid that the moment I say it, it won't happen. I won't watch my favorite hockey and football teams play for exactly that reason. If I watch, they lose. Never fails. Those teams should pay me NOT to watch the games, because they'd win every time. Guaranteed. My NASCAR drivers never win when I watch, either. 
But you know, I don't like being disorganized and just taking blind stabs in the dark, so I'm putting together an actual aggressive plan. I'm going to make a strong push over the next couple of months and see what happens. I have a plan now. And maybe, just maybe, my luck will turn around. 
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 @ 08:48 AM CST [link]
Revisions
Pages Written: 4 and...yep, revisions
Only three more chapters left to revise in my requested manuscript. Thank God. It's actually going well so far, so I really can't complain. What I'm NOT looking forward to is putting the whole thing together into one file (I write my chapters and save them as separate files,) and then going through all in one quick read to find the repetitive stuff. No doubt I've repeated description, but I'm most concerned about giving the reader the same information a dozen times. I'm famous for that.
Ugh.
Oh, and has anyone seen the new campaign ad for President Bush--the one that will no doubt win him the election because the writers have wisely made use of the ravenous wolf trick? Fans of The Day After Tomorrow, perhaps? Or my blog? 
The ad says something about cutting some defense/intelligence budget, weakening our defenses, and when our defenses are down, it opens the way for...(cut to a pack of ravenous wolves in a field--REAL wolves that don't look like chupacabras) enemies to take advantage. The wolves eye the cameraman hungrily, and as the ad ends, they run toward the camera, all slobbery and drooly. (I added the slobbery, drooly bit, but they do run toward the camera.)
So see--there ARE very practical uses for wolves. You watch. We'll start seeing them everywhere now!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004 @ 08:58 AM CST [link]
Monday, October 25, 2004 @ 09:41 AM CST [link]
The Day After Tomorrow
Pages Written: 2 and revisions
This isn't a movie review, no matter what the subject line says. It's about writing. Really.
See, I bought The Day After Tomorrow because it's about weather, and I'm a weather nut. (Shock, huh?) And let me just say that the purchase was a serious waste of $14.95 + tax. No, wait. No tax. I bought it at Keesler's BX.
Anyway, what a horrid movie. I mean, the special effects and weather stuff was great--the fact that it was completely implausible didn't bother me because the people who made it KNOW that a weather phenomenon like that would need hundreds to thousands of years to develop, so it wasn't like they just didn't do their research. They had a movie to make, and the movie couldn't span hundreds of years. I can deal with that. It's fiction.
What made the movie bad were a few really idiotic "huh?" issues, and one huge...well, I don't even know what to call it. Ready? Spoiler ahead, so if you haven't seen the movie, don't read on. If you want the key to writing a bestseller, however, keep reading.
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Spoiler *
Okay, so we have a monster ice hurricane heading for New York. We have a group of people trying to stay alive inside the NY Public Library. One of the people develops a nasty case of sepsis and needs drugs in order to survive. Good thing we just happen to have a huge ocean-going ship parked in the street outside the library.
So a group of the guys decide to raid the ship and see if they can find the needed antibiotics. Yay! But they have to hurry. If the eye of the ice hurricane reaches them, they'll freeze instantly in the 150 below temperatures.
They find the drugs. The eye is coming--they can see clear skies on the horizon, coming closer. They start to head back to the library. But wait! Danger! There's something on the ship with them. They are attacked by...wolves!!!!!
Er, WTF????
It's like the screenwriter up to that point in the script was fired, and a new one, one who maybe just celebrated his 9th birthday, was brought in to finish the movie. Or if it was the same screenwriter, I kinda picture him like this:
He's typing away at his screenplay. So far, so good. There's all this excitement going on, people panicking, dying, not believing what's really happening. Dennis Quaid is risking his life (and that of his colleagues) to reach his son who is stranded in the library. There's really no point to this; what's daddy gonna do when he gets there? But the story needs heart. So we'll keep it.
But now there are these guys in the ship. The storm's eye is closing in. They have the meds. The eye is closer. But wait. There's something missing in this story. There needs to be an obstacle or the guys are going to make it back to the library and be safe, and that's just not exciting. So what kind of obstacle is needed? Hmm.
Maybe...looters. That disgusting subspecies of human might work. But no, too realistic. How about escaped convicts from the jail down the street? Hmm. No, not entirely realistic, but still too plausible.
The screenwriter drums his fingers on the desk. He thinks. And thinks. Drums some more. Then the lightbulb comes on. "I know!" he exclaims. "Wolves! What this movie needs is a pack of ravenous wolves in downtown Manhattan."
So now he has to foreshadow the wolves. Scroll back up to the beginning of the screenplay and insert a scene showing wolves in the zoo getting worked up. Scroll down a little. Insert a scene showing the zookeeper freaking out because the wolves escaped. And the zookeeper can't act like the poor things are so terrified that they escaped and are probably cowering in fear somewhere. Nope. The zookeeper must act like what really escaped are mutated scientific experiments that mated wolves with chupacabras. Very scary. Zookeeper gasps. "Oh my God, the wolves have escaped!"
Now scroll back down to the NY scene on the ship. Insert ravenous wolf pack. (Who cares how they got on board in the first place.) And let's hope the viewers don't notice that the wolves could have eaten any of the thousands of dead people lying around NY, not to mention the millions of live ones trying to walk out. Oh, and let's hope that no one realizes that wolves don't behave this way. We'll chalk it up to the massive change in weather freaking them out. Never mind that domestic dogs aren't affected at all.
So the wolves (CGI, wolves, by the way--CHEESY CGI wolves that really do look kinda like chupacabras) attack the humans, who outrun and outsmart the wolves. But wow, did that create a tense and unexpected moment, or what?
See what the writer did? Oldest trick in the book. Pull the old ravenous wolf pack out of the writer's toolbox. I mean, think how much more thrilling Seabiscuit would have been if a pack of wolves had chased Seabiscuit down the track? Or how much more exciting it would have been to watch wolves track Jack Ryan as he hunts the Russian cook in the bowels of Red October? The hunter becomes the hunted. Ooh, what a twist!
I'm now thinking of ways that I, too, can insert wolf packs into my stories. I'm working right now on a scene in Snowbound that would be perfect. My heroine is skiing through a snowstorm, heading for a hunting cabin. What's that she hears? Is it the howling of wolves? Oh, no! She skis faster. The howls are closer. Faster. They are right behind her!
Hmm. On second thought, that actually isn't THAT far-fetched. But maybe Vital Signs, set in a large Texas city, is in need of wolves. My heroine is inside a drug den, a shooting gallery, where she's trying to revive an overdose victim. She begins CPR, but then hears an ominous, low growl. She turns.
And finds herself staring into the bloodthirsty eyes of the leader of a wolf pack. Oh, right. Didn't she hear something on the news this morning about a truck carrying a pack of wolves to a wildlife preserve crashing, and the wolves got away?
Yes, that might work. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
So, fellow writers, I give you a new tool for your toolbox. The ever-popular pack of ravenous and out-of-character wolves. When you hit the bestseller lists, don't forget to thank me!
Friday, October 22, 2004 @ 07:37 AM CST [link]
Vote or be Celibate
Pages Written: 4 and revisions
Here's one way to make sure people vote, I suppose: Votergasm!
The "stereotype game" is kinda fun, too!
Thursday, October 21, 2004 @ 07:21 AM CST [link]
First Lines
Pages Written: 2 and lots of revisions
Alison Kent's recent post, combined with the the first voting round of the American Title contest got me thinking about my own first lines.
I said a while back that I almost always begin a novel with dialogue. So I took a critical look at some of my opening lines.
From Vital Signs: "Open the door, bitch!"
Okay, it's catchy, and it tells us that someone very angry is outside a door. It matches the tone of the scene and the book. But the line could also potentially turn off readers who don't like strong language. (Of course, the language gets even worse, so might as well warn the reader ahead of time! ) It also doesn't give any information about the main character or the story.
From Flat Line: "He's gone. Let's call it."
Hmm. I like it, but let's face it--it's not that great. Now, since the person reading it should know that the book has a medical slant, the line SHOULD tell the reader that someone is dead and that the medical person is preparing to announce time of death. So if that info gets across, the line isn't so bad because it's obvious that we have at least two living people in the scene and one dead one. I'll have to see if I can improve that line.
From Snowbound: "What do you mean you're canceling?"
My weakest opening ever. Sure, we know someone is mad that someone is canceling, but is it super catchy? No. I should work on that one.
My favorite opening is from my fantasy that will probably never see the light of day. "There was blood everywhere."
Terrible, I know. But geez, who can resist finding out where all the blood came from?
So how important are opening lines? I remember reading an article that said "The first chapter of a book is the most important chapter. The first page of a book is the most important page. The first paragraph of a book is the most important paragraph. And the first line of the first paragraph of the first page of the first chapter...is the most important line in the book." Whew.
But really, is the first line THAT important? Live or die important? Personally, I don't think so. I think that just about anyone will read past the first line to the first paragraph, which MUST grab the reader. I mean, yes, the first line is important. Definitely. But what you do with the next sentence is just as important.
This is a terrible first line: Jane sat down and crossed her legs.
But what if we follow it up with: As if crossing her legs when she was bare-ass naked and tied up in the cockpit of an airplane did anything at all to conceal her nudity.
Needs tweaking, but still...I'm convinced that while the first line is important, it's really the follow-up that makes the beginning of a novel open well.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, October 19, 2004 @ 08:31 AM CST [link]
Happy Monday!
Pages Written: 6 and revisions
Well, I spent the entire weekend working on Snowbound. I needed 40 more pages and a ton of revising. The pages will come naturally through the process of revision and fleshing out--I don't need to add scenes to the story at this point.
I also read one of the books in my TBR pile, Nobody's Baby But Mine, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Funny thing...had almost anyone else written this book, I'd have hated it. The idea that a super-genius heroine would trick a "stupid" man into getting her pregnant so she'll have a baby of average intelligence is just idiotic. And there were a dozen other annoyances that would have had me throwing the book against the wall if the writing wasn't so engaging. But SEP managed to make the story so enjoyable that I read it in one sitting and didn't stop even to eat. It got a little ridiculous toward the end, even for SEP, but still, I enjoyed the book. She really does a great wounded hero.
And this is just too funny. And cool. This guy is making a mint with funny tampon cases. Whoulda thunk? 
Monday, October 18, 2004 @ 07:36 AM CST [link]
Back to "Normal"
Pages Written: 0
Okay, my friend from Germany has gone (I enjoyed the visit though!) and most crises have passed. I can now catch up on email, blogs, critting, and writing. So I imagine I'll be pretty scarce this weekend as I catch up.
Oh! And good news! I have cable again!!!! I'm so excited. So yesterday I got the news about the requested full, AND I got cable back. It was a wonderful day! 
Friday, October 15, 2004 @ 09:39 AM CST [link]
Thursday, October 14, 2004 @ 10:23 AM CST [link]
Great Quote
Pages Written: Zip
I saw this quote in my new Writer's Digest, and I thought it was funny because it's SO true:
"Being a writer is like having homework for the rest of your life." --Lawrence Kasdan
Hopefully I'll be able to get back to a normal life tomorrow, and I'll start writing again. Most disasters have been fixed (except my roof!) and my friend who is visiting from Germany will be leaving.
Here's hoping things slow down for a while!!!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 @ 08:44 AM CST [link]
Can it get worse? YES! It can.
Pages Written: A few pages of revisions on Vital Signs
I can't believe it. I can't. After everything else that has happened, something else hits this morning. I can't even say it because I'm too freaked, and it's a little too personal. I assure you, no one wants to hear it. (It has to do with my kid and is going to create a lot of extra work.) ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GIVE UP! I bow to whatever higher powers think it's funny to load me down with weird crap. My personal motto of "If it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me," has never been more true.
I GIVE UP!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 @ 06:36 AM CST [link]
I love my builder!
Pages Written: None!
Okay, so my roof is leaking. Bad. I have a $1000 deductible. There are no roof repair people working over the holiday weekend. I'm desperate.
So I call my house's builder yesterday and leave a voicemail asking if he can get me in touch with the contractor who built my roof to repair the hurricane damage. An hour later, he shows up at my door (naturally, since I look like a scumbag,) takes a look and says he'll personally fix it. Yay!!! So he's coming over this morning to fix my roof, when he very easily could have said, "It's not my responsibility since it's hurricane damage." The man is saving me $1000, plus, I don't have to make a claim on my insurance. Yay!!!!
However...
I went outside this morning to move my car because I have a friend coming from Germany to spend a few days today. And lo and behold, my rear passenger door is open and has been that way since Saturday, meaning it went through T.S. Matthew that way. I suspect my son left it open when we were taking groceries out of the car, but I should have checked. Anyway, my Jeep is full of water. So today I get to Shop-Vac water out of my car, shampoo the carpets, and hope nothing inside molds or mildews. Sigh.
Don't know if anyone saw it, but Charlie Gibson interviewed Nora Roberts on Good Morning America this morning. They talked about formula and getting into mens' heads. Good interview. You might be able to read the transcript at the GMA website later.
Okay, off to clean out my car...
Monday, October 11, 2004 @ 09:01 AM CST [link]
Ivan Damage
Pages Written: 5
Okay, I didn't think we took much damage from Ivan. I mean, my fence is messed up, and there are some little things, but I thought that was it.
Nope.
Right now we're getting pounded by tropical storm Matthew, which is dumping HUGE amounts of rain on us. And lots of wind. It's the first rain we've had since Ivan. And guess what I've discovered? Grr. Ivan damaged our roof and I now have water leaking between my walls into my bathroom. I'm guessing that the damaged area is small or in a place I can't see, because I DID check our roof. Not good enough, I guess.
So now it's very soggy outside, and soggy inside, as well!
Sunday, October 10, 2004 @ 08:08 AM CST [link]
Coveting Sleep
Pages Written: 3 Pages and Gobs and Gobs of Revisons
I know that, as a writer, I'm not supposed to covet sleep. But I do. Especially because I don't get it. My sleep cycles drive me insane. I'll sleep really soundly for 2 months or so, and then I have 6 months of no sleep. The no-sleep cycle started about two weeks ago, and last night was the worst. I couldn't fall asleep until around midnight, and then I woke at 3:00 A.M. and couldn't get back to sleep. Today I'm a walking zombie.
Part of the problem is my cat. You know, Spooge Cat. He thinks he needs to be petted four or five times a night. So he comes in and wakes me up to pet him--except that I'm extremely paranoid of petting him ever since...THAT night. And if he isn't bugging me to pet him, he's jumping up on everything in the house--tables, dressers, bookshelves counters, and intentionally knocking stuff off. The little booger sits down all prim and proper, stares at his victim, and then uses his paw to shove the item onto the floor. He watches it drop, and then goes for the next item. Nothing is too big for him. Candles, lamps, paper shredders...he's so destructive.
And if he isn't bugging me to get petted or destroying something, he's beating up on my old cat. Today she's walking with a serious limp because he beat on her so badly. Trip to the vet coming up for her.
So lately I've been locking him in the utility room at night so I can get some sleep. But he yowls and knocks stuff over in the utility room all night long. Trip to the vet coming up for him. Sedatives for both of us are probably in order!
Friday, October 08, 2004 @ 10:44 AM CST [link]
Nothing Exciting
Pages Written: 20 pages of revisions
Argh! I'm about ready to be done with my novella. I got some wonderful feedback that helped point me in the right direction to get the thing back on track, and they're helping, but the story still feels bumpy. I think my hero is fine, but the heroine is shaky. I always have trouble with heroines. Always.
Half of my problem is back story. I hate back story, so I tend to not put in enough in the beginning, which makes my characters' motivations and actions hard to understand. So I'm going back through the story to add back story in small doses, but now I'm afraid I'm going to be too repetitive.
It's amazing just how much work a novella is, given that they are so short!
Thursday, October 07, 2004 @ 08:24 AM CST [link]
Wednesday, October 06, 2004 @ 09:11 AM CST [link]
Dying here
Pages Written: Just lots and lots of revisions
My neighbor is a really nice guy. He and his wife just moved here from the midwest to retire someplace sunny and warm. (And full of bugs and hurricanes.) I enjoy talking to him, even if he doesn't get my sense of humor--those midwesterners seem to have some sort of blockage that prevents them from getting sarcasm. But he's still a nice guy.
Anyway, being a nice guy, he mows my lawn for me when Bryan is gone. I'm ever so grateful, considering it takes 2-3 hours to mow the thing.
Well, last week while he was mowing, he ran over the TV cable that has been exposed since July. His mower caught the cable and chewed it up, severing it. I now have no TV. None. I'm dying. Ivan knocked out a few channels and made the rest fuzzy, but that was better than nothing. Now I'm TV-less, and I will be for several weeks because the cable company is using all its resources to repair Ivan damage in Florida. Grr.
I probably should be grateful to my neighbor for causing a TV outage, since I AM getting tons of writing done out of sheer boredom, but still...
Sigh. 
Gonna go revise now. And maybe whine some more.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004 @ 10:21 AM CST [link]
I'm a Plotter
Pages Written: 5 and a whole lotta revisions
I finally finished my Brava novella this weekend--the rough draft, anyway. It still needs lots of work. Why? Because I tried something new with this story.
A few days ago, Patrice Michelle blogged about this exact thing. Are you a pantser or plotter?
Well, I've always been a plotter. Not an anal plot-every-scene type of plotter, but I do create a roadmap with lots of stops along the way. I know my characters inside and out. I know how the story ends and I've probably got a few scenes already written and filed away. But I always WANTED to be a pantser.
So I tried that with the novella. Um. Right.
I will NEVER do that again. Never ever. What a mess I've created. Not only that, but I tried another experiment at the same time. (I am such an idiot.)
All my stories are plot-driven. So I decided to create my first character-driven romance. Now, romance, by nature, IS character-driven. But we all know that there are stories where plot plays a very large role, and there are stories where the characters' internal issues are more important that the outside plot.
So I tried a more character-driven story. Um. Right.
I will NEVER do that again. Hell, no. Thing is, up until the last two chapters, I enjoyed writing the story. I really had fun with it. And then I hit a wall that I couldn't get over. Why? Two reasons.
#1. I hadn't plotted the story out and had written myself into a dead-end.
#2. The lack of external plot just didn't work. At all.
So I should have been done with this story weeks ago, but I've had to spend the last two weeks trying to fix what I'd done with my experimental ways. Did I fix it? Well, it's better. But it still needs work. But my eyes are crossing every time I look at it now, so my eyes will no longer find the bazillions of weaknesses. So I'm going to have a couple of people look it over and rip it to shreds for me so I can get these blinders off and fix the story properly.
And what did I learn from all of this? That I'm a plot-driven plotter. End of story. No more experiments for me. Therapy groups, yes. Experiments, no.
I. Am. A. Plot. Driven. Plotter. Note to self: tape that to computer monitor and repeat daily.
Monday, October 04, 2004 @ 09:21 AM CST [link]
Killing Time
Pages Written: 4
When I need to kill some time--or avoid working on my latest novel--I LOVE going to AAR and reading the latest reviews. Oh, not the good ones. The BAD ones. The really, really awful ones. Here's one of this month's faves. And this one is just hilarious. Oh, and can't forget this rant!
Now, people can argue, say that the horrid reviews are just one person's opinion, and that's true. But chances are that I would agree with the reviewers. Oh, I may not think the novel was as bad as they say, but I have NO doubt that I would think the book wasn't great. I read books all the time that got great reviews, and then I find the books to be wall-bangers. However, I've never read a book that got rotten reviews and then thought the book was wonderful. Never. (Happens with movies, though.)
Anyway, I feel bad for authors whose books are raked over the coals, but when it comes to bad reviews, I'm still a rubber-necker. I'm fascinated, and I stop to look! Bad, Larissa, bad. Someday this'll come back to bite me in the butt, I'm sure...
Friday, October 01, 2004 @ 09:22 AM CST [link]
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