End of Month Search Phrases

I just love the end of the month when I get to see what crazies visited my site based on their strange search engine queries. And this month, we start with phrases that brought people to my site when they were looking for me or someone else:

larissa you muppet
naughty america larissa
anna genoese blogs
larissa soapbox must suck to be her (well, there are times...)
jaid black excerpt read online
jo beverly jehanne
katinka proudfoot
little thumbs larissa
larissa ugly (time for a new bio pic)
lydia joyce bad (beer good)
larissa bitch (So I'm an ugly bitch)
lydia joyce blog
larissa is hot (does that cancel out the ugly?)
disgusting insects found on the lawn by emma
grouch larissa (Now I'm a grouchy, ugly bitch)
alison kent royalty statement
bekke royalty
larissa smells (I'm a grouchy, ugly bitch who smells)
larissa_sitting_face (my Native American name)
shadowplay by portia de costa

Animals:
(excluding the usual and frequent "dogs attract lightning" and "doberman exploding skulls" queries)

whale penises
chupacabras
animations of pooping animals
mating cycle of dachshunds
cat exploding myths (this is a new one)
farting cat flick
cats mouths cleaner than humans (NOT true. There's a reason vets sometimes refer to cat spit as cat venom)
myths about dog lick
i won t give my cat insulin (How nice for your cat. Let's hope your kids never get sick)
why are calico cats always female (they aren't, but males are rare)
can female calico cats have babies? (why couldn't they?)

General oddness:

woman on the toilet
truck scrotum
dumbass pictures
new concepts publishing badly edited
levenger crap (Hey! I like Levenger crap!)
knee his balls
identify booger flicker
manly man alpha
hate revising (join the club)
garbage bin sarcastic stories
proof that tall things attract lighting (you need proof?)
hot mocha women
guys big nuts scrotum
personal cameltoe pictures
i have no ideas for stories
i get a headache when i eat meat with growth hormones (then, uh, I don't know...maybe...STOP EATING IT???)
i get a headache when i eat beef or chicken (see above)
competitive bitchy female friends
vitals signs for someone choking (Well, let's see...increased pulse rate, increased heartbeat, and the dead giveaway...no respirations)
testicles squished
the boston accent turns me on (Okaaaaay)
military wives are helpless bitches (I'm a grouchy, ugly, helpless bitch who smells)
life of a novelist (wine, bonbons, and fuzzy slippers)
the maternal instinct does it exist (Are you kidding me?)

Weirdest:

he inserted a tampon (ew)
booger fantasy (this is probably the nastiest fetish I've ever heard of)
freezing temperature of the human eye (WHY do you want to know?)

Scariest:

i will slit your throat suitable for 7 year old (get away from my website and turn yourself into the police. Now.)

Saturday, April 30, 2005 @ 08:22 AM CST [link]

Closed Entry

I closed the entry I posted early today about lists because someone emailed me about the explosion on the contest loop, and though she agreed with me and everyone else who was annoyed, she thought that the whole mess might take away from the achievements of another person. And since I adore that other person, I don't want anything to foul up what should be a wonderful celebration, and I closed the post.

Friday, April 29, 2005 @ 01:45 PM CST [link]

More Tags

These cracked me up...from Emily's blog:

"My stomach hurts," he belly-ached.
"California," he stated.
"This grape juice has fermented," he whined. (Ha, whined/wined get it. This one is my favorite).
"I want to go back to the forest," he pined.

Friday, April 29, 2005 @ 01:11 PM CST [link]

A Bunch of Stuff

Yesterday morning as I was taking out the trash, I heard a train whistle. We live near some railroad tracks (obviously) that I drive over every day. Anyone in this suburb pretty much has to drive over these tracks. So train whistles are common.

But yesterday, the whistle sounded...different. I can't explain it, but if a train could sound panicky, that was the sound. About five minutes later, I heard sirens. Lots and lots of sirens. The news was on because I was getting ready to leave for Biloxi, and I learned that a train had struck a car at the very tracks I was going to be crossing. I suddenly worried about my neighbors because they had left their houses and would have crossed the tracks at around the time of the accident. (And I can't even tell you how freaked I'd have been if Bryan had been home, because he'd have been at the tracks at about that time, as well.)

Turns out it was a teenage boy who was coming to the house across the street from me to pick up my neighbor's son for school. He was killed instantly because he tried to beat the train. *shakes head*

Trains scare the hell out of me. If I even THINK there's a train within a mile of the tracks I have to cross, I won't cross. I'm not sure what it is, but trains just scare me. (Might have something to do with the fact that my dad and baby brother got into a car/train wreck when I was little.)

Anyway, the moral of the story is...don't try to beat trains. When you lose, you lose a lot.

*

I have a website to share with everyone, and it's an important one. My friend forwarded it to me, and I'm going to be using it every time we move:

www.sexualpredators.com

With this site, you can find registered sex offenders near you. A check of where we live now has revealed several sex offenders in the area, and two child molesters on streets on which we almost bought houses.

A check of our last duty station revealed NINE sex offenders within a mile of our house--in a community of only 3,000! If you have kids, do yourself a favor and check out your area. Please note, however, that some states and counties don't publish this information on websites in order to "protect the privacy of the convicted individuals." WTF??? IMO, child molesters should have no rights whatsover, let alone rights to privacy.

Anyway, check it out. You might be surprised and appalled.

*

What in the world happened on American Idol last night????? Granted, Constantine's performance sucked. Bad. Worse than bad. His voice is way too weak to even attempt to sing something by Nickelback. But still, his performances over the course of the show should have counted for something. How in the hell did he get kicked off, but Scott not only stayed, but was in the top three???

I'm rooting for the last two standing to be Bo and Carrie--it'd be nice to see a genre singer win. And truthfully, I'd like Bo to win, even though I like Carrie better. But I think American Idol wouldn't be able to make a decent album for Carrie if she won. She needs to be signed by a record company that has a strong reputation with country artists. So IMO, losing would be the best thing for her.

But I did want Constantine to make it at least to the top four. I'm still in shock that he went before Scott. Again, WHO IS VOTING FOR HIM???? *shudders*

Okay, deep breath. Must get coffee now. And do some writing. I hope y'all have been super productive this week!

Thursday, April 28, 2005 @ 07:54 AM CST [link]

More GH Goodness

I got the scores for my second and last GH entry, Snowbound. And even though it didn't final, I'm VERY pleased with the scores. No one hated it, and even the lowest scores show that the judges may not have loved it enough to put it on their keeper shelves, but they did like it. Snowbound received:

7 .... 7 .... 8 .... 8.6 .... 9

I'm thrilled with those numbers, especially because this manuscript had never been entered in any contest, so I had no idea how it would fare with judges. I broke some "Rules" with it, which may explain a few points off, but they were major Rules, so honestly, I'm surprised that the scores weren't lower. The cutoff for the top quarter for short contemporary was 37.00, and so my final score of 39.60 put it well into the top 25%. Yay! After the disappointment over my scores for Vital Signs, I'm jumping up and down over these ones since THIS was the ms. I was really iffy about!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 @ 06:57 AM CST [link]

Don't Roll Your Eyes

I missed a day posting yesterday, and I have to say, I suffered some serious blog guilt. But I was really busy with cats and kids and hair appointments, so I just didn't have time. Today the kiddo is home sick, so the fun never ends! (notice that the smiley is rolling his eyes--this will be important in a moment. *g*)

Anyway, I came across a discussion about readers' pet peeves, and honestly, I was a little...surprised. There were a few that cracked me up, like the one reader who is tired of seeing "moist panties," and another who can't stand the phrase, "she schooled her features."

But it was the person who started the discussion that had me saying, "What???" a few times.

Her issue is overused phrases, like "she rolled her eyes." Okay, that's cool if it's an irritant because it's overused. But it was the next paragraph that had me shaking my head:

"Personally, I don't like the phrase, as to me, it conjures up visions of two disembodied eyes being rolled across the floor."

Really? She really sees that when she reads or hears that phrase? It's not one of those weird sentences like, "Her eyes crawled slowly up his pantleg." I mean, if anyone DOESN'T picture a set of horror-movie eyes slithering up a pair of polyesters and using the optic nerve as propulsion, then I'd be surprised. But people actually DO roll their eyes. How else would could it be described? "Her eyes moved inside the socket in an arc as she showed her impatience." Yes, much, much better.

Personally, I don't mind the "disembodied eye" thing that a lot of people dislike. If the characters' eyes capture each others' from across the room, I don't care. I don't see two sets of eyes duking it out in the middle of a dinner party. The weird ones like the crawling eyes are another story, but for the most part, I DON'T CARE if someone uses "eyes" in a sentence instead of "gaze."

But I know there are people who do. So I asked a friend of mine, one of those Eye Stickler people, if the "rolling eyes" bothered her. She said the same thing I did: how else would you describe that particular action? Besides, you can't replace "eyes" with "gaze" in that instance. "She rolled her gaze." *snorts*

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So, Eye Sticklers...what do you think? When a character rolls her eyes, are you seeing eyeballs rolling around on the floor?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 @ 06:49 AM CST [link]

What The Heck???

Authorities have arrested the woman who allegedly found a finger in Wendy's chili. She's being charged with grand larceny and attempted grand larceny, according to San Jose police chief Rob Davis.

"Indeed, what we have found is that thus far our evidence suggests the truest victims in this case are indeed the Wendy's owner, operators and employees here in San Jose," Davis said.

Er...is it just me, or are these people focusing on the wrong thing? I mean, hellllloooooo! The woman was in possession of A HUMAN FINGER. I'm thinking that the truest victim just might be the person who used to be legitimately in possession of that finger, yes? Where did she get it? Grand larceny my ass.

And I got back my GH scores for Vital Signs. Vital Signs, which had either won or finaled in every contest in which it had been entered. Here are the scores for the ST manuscript:

9....8.8....8.5....6.5....3

After the adjustment for the low score, my final score was 39.96. The cutoff for the top quarter was 38.20, so I made it well into the top 25%, which is great. It just annoys me that the story got three perfect to almost perfect scores...and a really, really crappy score. The judge was either a Rule Nazi, or she has a personal grudge against me, I'm thinking. Though it's possible that the language offended her. But it's a SINGLE TITLE. Set in a really, really rough setting. Drugged-out scumbags don't say "golly gee."

Sigh. Anyway, people keep telling me that books that people either love or hate are a good thing, because at least they are memorable. I'll just hang on to that! And I'll sell. I WILL. Because as Diana proves, that's the best revenge.

Oh, and to anyone who tried to get to my site yesterday but was instead greeted with a message that my account had been suspended because I'm a deadbeat who doesn't pay her bills, it was because my site got hacked. I had several moments of panic, but Walt fixed it in no time. He's my new hero.

Sunday, April 24, 2005 @ 08:27 AM CST [link]

Tag It!

So yesterday I mentioned that adverbs and adjectives just didn't annoy me much. But I AM picky about dialogue tags, whether or not they contain adverbs. And I HATE tags that are synonyms for "said."

Oh, sure, like any "rule," there are exceptions and comfort zones, and I do admit to using "he snapped," or "she murmured," sometimes. But please, please spare me the horrors of "he enjoined."

Other tags I can live without seeing again:

acquiesced
assented
avowed
dictated
enunciated *shudders*
estimated
feared (as a TAG???)
itemized
notified
opined
orated
propounded
publicized
remonstrated
twitted

Yes, I've actually seen most of these. The rest are from a list of synonyms for said I once found at Romance-central. I've kept the list, and I mark off the horrid synonyms I actually find in novels. It's like that license plate game people play when they drive.

What kills me is that some of the "synonymns" just aren't. Feared?

"But, sir knight, if we enter that cave, we might be eaten by a dragon," she feared.

And itemized.

"I don't have any eggs, but I do have two tablespoons of flax seed, three eggless bran muffins, and three slices of soy bacon," she itemized.

Good grief. I'm going to make up my own synonym for said. Apparently, you can turn anything into a dialogue tag as long as it can end in "ed".

"You are dead meat," he wolfed. Ooh, yep. That works. But then, you know the rules about wolves. So maybe that wasn't fair.

"Go team!" he motivated.
"Do I want the green blouse, or the red one?" she conflicted.
"Fine. I guess dating you will have to do," he settled.

Hehe. This is getting fun. I need to stop before it infects my new WIP.

Saturday, April 23, 2005 @ 07:02 AM CST [link]

Naughty, Naughty Adverbs

Emma and I are like-minded today (which no doubt scares the hell out of her.)

I adore Stephen King's On Writing. But, like Emma, I totally disagree with the "The adverb is not your friend," thing. To be honest, I never even notice them when I'm reading unless they come in dialogue tags, which often annoy me, she says bluntly. Sure, they can be signs of lazy writing, but sometimes you just need a stinking adverb. I don't limit myself in any way when I'm writing, and that includes counting adverbs or slapping myself on the wrist if I use one.

In fact, my first drafts are extremely (hehe--get it?) adverb and adjective heavy. During revisions, I go through and remove the ones that are completely frivolous, and I use more precise description in place of a lot of them. But if they need to stay, they stay, and I don't apologize for it. Especially when they are used in dialogue. People use adverbs and adjectives in everyday speech, and so do my characters. Adverbs happen. I deal with it.

Now, I'm going to get a little adverbinous writing done on Overboard/Making Waves/Slippery When Wet (I'm on page 5!) and then take my cat to the vet. No, not the diabetic African lion. Spooge Cat needs his antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds refilled. I swear, the word "normal" doesn't apply to anything in my home...

Friday, April 22, 2005 @ 07:12 AM CST [link]

I'm Not Posting Today

I'm not. I'm going to see if I can make it a full day without posting. (A post saying I'm not going to post doesn't count.)

But real quick, I just have to say that I am APPALLED that Anwar was voted off American Idol last night, but Scott the Serial Killer (as Sharon calls him) stayed. WTF? WHO is voting this year??? Who? Yes, Scott has a good voice. But no personality, zero charisma, lazy speech...oh, I could go on. Anwar has a better voice, PLUS charisma, a wonderful personality, and...oh, I could go on. So what is up with voters?

I don't get it.

So how was that for not posting today?

Thursday, April 21, 2005 @ 08:51 AM CST [link]

The Virgin Page

...is no longer a virgin. I actually started WRITING my new story (Overboard/Making Waves/Slippery When Wet) instead of just plotting it. I have a whole 1 1/2 pages!

I still have a lot of plotting to do. But I always feel better if I at least get the story started. I LOVE writing the first chapter. It's my favorite. It always needs some serious revision later, but for some reason, the first two scenes flow easily.

After that, the real work begins.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005 @ 07:58 AM CST [link]

I Have A Title!

Well, my goal yesterday was to beat my plot into submission. It didn't work. The thing appears to be more stubborn than I am. But I got a good start, so I'm not going to complain. At least, not here. But poor Steph got an earful.

And she helped me find a title! Yay!!!! I don't know about y'all, but I SUCK at titles. And the thing is, I have a hard time starting a new story without one. So I made Steph help. Basically, I said, "You don't suck at titles as much as I do, so help me." She said I was so complimentary to her that she couldn't refuse. Isn't that nice? And, taking into consideration that the light, sexy story takes place on board a cruise ship, here's what she came up with:

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Spreads a Stomach Virus (Hmm. It does provide ideas for external conflict...I mean, who wants to get down and dirty when they're puking their guts up? But I'm thinking that as a title, it doesn't really scream sexy, you know?)

Iceberg Ahead (I think that plot has been taken. And again, sexiness factor = nil)

Slippery When Wet (The possibilities for this title are endless--and so are the jokes)

Then she ate some ice cream or drank some margaritas or something and her mood seemed to improve. Which was good, because some of the titles, which were decidedly NOT sexy or light, like "Contract Killer," and "Blood in the Water" were starting to creep me out.

We finally settled on either "Making Waves" or "Overboard." Yes, Overboard is a movie. But it's a good title for this story. Not that anyone goes overboard. But I guess they could. Ha! Take that, Elusive Plot!

So anyway, that was my day. Today I'll be looking for a therapist for Steph.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 @ 07:28 AM CST [link]

In The Beginning

There was a germ of an idea for a story. The setting was in place. The hero's reason for being in the setting worked. The heroine's reason for being in the setting was a little weak, but it could be tweaked.

Names were brainstormed. GMCs were laid out.

The plot, however, was trouble. The plot did not want to play nice with the others. The *&@%ing plot had decided to be its own conflict.

Thanks to the rebel plot who refuses to be beaten into submission, the characters have now decided that they may have been too easy, and they are doing their best to make sure that the plot will never work. Hmph. I thought they were stronger than that. I didn't think they were the type to fall for peer pressure. They are LEADERS, not followers.

Little bastards.

I am going to go wrestle with my plot and characters now, and I'm only coming up for air when the Orkin man gets here to spray for the brown recluses and mutant fire ants. (I'll warn him to watch out for the cottonmouths. And my diabetic African lion.)

I hope everyone else is having an easier time with their WIPs, and if so, would you please send a little luck my way? And maybe some whips, because this is going to get REAL ugly...

Monday, April 18, 2005 @ 09:01 AM CST [link]

Quiz!

I totally apologize to whoever I stole this from. I know I found it on a regularly read blog, but my mind is fried. Anyway, thanks! *g*

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Sunday, April 17, 2005 @ 08:19 AM CST [link]

Judge Person, You Ain't Seen Nuthin' Yet

I wrote a heroine with body piercings and pink hair. Yes, the pink could be washed out, and the body piercings were fake, but really, IMO they weren't too outrageous even if they'd been permanent. I mean, she had a few extra earrings, a nose stud, and a navel ring. Know what kinds of comments I got from critters and contest judges who hadn't gotten to the part where it becomes clear that all that body jewelry and pink hair is not permanent?

"A body-pierced, pink-haired heroine will NOT go over with readers."

Personally, I'd LOVE to see a heroine who isn't afraid to express herself in that way. I know that a lot of readers wouldn't, but I would. Probably because if I were a little younger, I'd love to do some fun things like that. And after seeing the latest trend taking shape, I'm thinking that a few body piercings are soon going to be considered tame.

ICK!!!!!!!!! And ouch. And...OMG, ew.

Saturday, April 16, 2005 @ 08:12 AM CST [link]

Save Me From Lists!!!

PRO_org
PRO_news.
PRO_link.
PRO_craft.
PRO_industry.
PROwriterslife.
RWAwriterslife.
RWAcraft.
RWAindustry.
RWAespp.
RWAorg.
RWAresearch.
RWAtechnology.
RWAcontests.
RWAalert.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

No, I don't HAVE to subscribe to any of them, and actually, I only subscribe to around half. And I post to none, for the most part. Why not? Because when I do, I get my hand slapped for not trimming posts enough. I DO trim posts. Apparently, not enough. And often I'm not sure what list to post to.

The lists also seem too...moderated. Maybe that's not the right word, but there are hundreds of people on the lists, yet the activity is plodding much of the time. Why? My guess is that it's because when you aren't getting your hand slapped for not trimming posts, you're being told that the conversation must be moved to another list because industry stuff doesn't belong on the craft list. Or craft stuff doesn't belong on writerslife. Or whatever. But no one moves the conversation. It just dies. And if the conversation IS moved, then many of the people who participated still won't be able to chat, because they might not belong to the other list where the topic was moved to. It's driving me nuts.

I'm not sure what a better solution might be (I hate to complain without a suggestion, but I'm frustrated,) but at this point, it seems like something needs to be done because what could be very useful lists are not helping at all.

For a while, there was talk about how to fix the problems, but to my knowledge, nothing has been decided.

And for the record, I do believe the lists ARE a good thing, and I appreciate having them. I just think that a few changes would make them more useful, and people would feel more comfortable posting. I know the lists were divided into so many categories so that people could choose what they want to subscribe to and not have to wade through posts of topics that don't interest them, but IMO, things are TOO divided and too complicated.

Of course, my opinion could be a result of my new favorite outlook on life: Keep it simple.

Friday, April 15, 2005 @ 08:34 AM CST [link]

Say It!

Today's post at Romancing The Blog is all about you and what you want. So go speak up!

Thursday, April 14, 2005 @ 07:30 AM CST [link]

Writing Again

If I can get rid of this headache, I'm hoping to get to work plotting my next story, but this pounding sucker isn't going to go easily.

I used to have daily headaches--I ate Excedrin like candy for years. Then I stopped eating meat and my headaches disappeared, but I've had one for four days now, and today it's excruciating. I finally broke down and took two of my "special" pills, aspirin and codeine blends, and went back to bed. The edge is off the pain now, but in its place is fuzziness and an upset stomach. I'll probably go back to bed after I give the lion her shot.

But yay! I got an email from the editor who has Snowbound! Okay, it was merely saying that she'd received the manuscript and was hoping to get back to me soon. But still...she emailed me! At least I know Snowbound got there safely. Global Priority mail is FAST.

So I'm off to try a little plotting (hey, maybe the pills will actually help! *g*)

P.S. Was the militant vegetarianism subtle, or what?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 @ 08:33 AM CST [link]

Second Verse, Same As The First

Everyone loves a train wreck. But ha! You won’t see one here. Well, maybe in the comments, but not in the post.

I’m going to discuss Romancing The Blog just one more time, and then tomorrow, it’s back to business as usual.

RTB started as a labor of love. The founders wanted something unique, something that would bring lovers of all kinds of romance together in one place. But none of us had done anything remotely like it before. We saw where we wanted to go, but getting there was the problem. We had no roadmap. And we’ve made some wrong turns, we’ll admit.

There were a lot of reasons for anonymity, but you’ve heard some of them, and I’m not going to go into more of them except to say that part of the reason was that we didn’t want to look like idiots if it all fell apart before it really got going. Part of it was that we began with a germ of “let’s not tell anyone until we get it up and running, so while the site sits there, let’s come up with a collective identity.” And then we liked the collective identity and thought about the buzz secrecy might create. Mind you, none of use are marketing experts, so it very well could have been a bad idea, but it seemed like an interesting business idea at the time, and it worked. We were getting several hundred visitors a day before the site even launched.

We had an idea about how many columnists we wanted to invite, and who. But we also realized that there was no way we could handle 60 at once (one of our ideas was to have two posts per day, or run on a 60 day rotating schedule.) So we decided to start small. And we decided NOT to start with people in our blog circle. Why? It certainly wasn’t to exclude them. It was because people who read the blogs in the “circle” already read everyone. We weren’t going to be making an impact by having a group blog with the same people visitors already read every day. Oh, we always had plans to come back around to them, but first we wanted to seek out people from several circles. We wanted to expose both readers and authors to genres and situations that they might not have experienced before, and that could only be done through variety.

So we found NY published authors. New authors. Unpublished writers. Readers. We found small press authors. E-book authors. Agents. We invited some pretty big names—some of whom turned us down because they felt they were too controversial (Heh—we’ve been wanting to invite them again as guests!) and some of whom were too busy, and some who, well, there’s a confidentiality factor here, but let’s just say that the reasons were very uncool.

So we got our starting lineup, and yes, RTB is top-heavy with authors. We see that. But remember, this was all new to us. We had a group blog model to follow, but it didn’t contain authors. We did the best we could with what we had to get up and running. Now we want more. We want inspirational authors and AA authors and romantica authors. And more readers. And more of what YOU want. In fact, there will be a post coming up on Thursday that will ask for YOUR input. It’s your site. It’s always been about romance, not us, which is another one of the reasons we put on masks. We didn’t WANT the spotlight on us.

There had always been a buzz about when/if we should come out of the closet. We’d already been making preparations to send out more invitations, so when people began to discuss RTB and some of the problems they saw (and for every negative comment, we got an email telling us how much they like the site the way it is,) we thought that now just might be the right time. Personal relationships were a concern, and the longer we remained in the closet, the harder it was going to be to come out.

So some of us did. Here we are. Out in the open and without flak jackets. Someone told me that every person who had ever hated me would crawl out of the woodwork and use this opportunity to take potshots, and there’s nothing I can do about that. There will be people who weren’t in our shoes and can’t understand some of the decisions we made, but one thing I will say is that everything we did was meant to create something wonderful for the romance community. And I think we did.

Without RTB, I wouldn’t have found many of the wonderful people whose blogs I visit daily. Just the listing of blogs on the sidebar is amazing. Where else can you go to find almost every romance-related weblog listed in one place? The number of blogs on the sidebar has tripled since the launch, and because of it, I’ve discovered The Red Pen Diaries. Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Books. Wanda Writer’s Confessions. And so many more daily reads.

And remember Shannon’s RITA post? That was like one giant brainstorm. The idea to tag manuscripts as “steamy” instead of creating a new category for erotic romance was, IMO, brilliant. What if all that gets back to the RWA PTB? Then RTB has done a wonderful thing. We are trying to open doors and open minds and put a positive spin on the genre. That’s all. There are no trolls in the bushes.

No doubt there will be a lot of changes coming up. Maybe new faces (er…or not actual faces) behind the scenes. Maybe a new format or schedule or whatever. The one thing I pray doesn’t happen is that RTB fails because we chose to come out. My main concern is the columnists and the readers. This was all for THEM. What did we get out of it? A LOT of work. But we also got the satisfaction of knowing that we were doing some good.

So do I regret anything we’ve done? Well, let’s just say that we probably could have handled some things better. Was all this worth it for RTB? Time will tell, but I hope so. Was it worth it personally? I have my doubts. I deeply regret that anyone was hurt, but that will be handled privately and with lots and lots of tears.

One thing I want to add is that if I told you EVERY reason for everything we did, this post would be a mile long, so please don't take away from this post that the reasons I've given were the ONLY ones for certain things. There is a LOT more I can't or won't go into. However, if anyone wants more detail privately, please email me!

And boy, won’t this months’ search phrases be interesting?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 @ 08:58 AM CST [link]

The Secret Is Out!

I'm so proud of Alison and the work she's done at RTB. People have criticized her for not loving romance, but it was a love of romance that spurred her into RTB's design, and she deserves a LOT of credit.

And no way is she going to take all of the criticism, so let me state for the record that there were several people involved at various stages of the project, and I was one of them. And you know what? I'm proud to have been in on such a great concept and I hope it continues to thrive no matter who is at the wheel in the future!

Monday, April 11, 2005 @ 06:38 PM CST [link]

Conflict

Yesterday Cece talked about writing internal and external conflict, and how there are only two internal conflicts in all of romance land (slight exaggeration there) and a gazillion external conflicts, but IC is easier for her to write than EC.

I have the exact opposite problem. I LOVE external conflict. I can write it all day long. Internal conflict? Not so much. Part of the reason is that it requires so much thinking. The characters must think about their issues. Think, think, think. And the other part of the problem is, as Cece mentions, there just aren't that many internal conflicts that can keep the hero and heroine apart.

Dreamweaver says in the comments: "Sometimes I think I’ll gag if I read one more story with H/h claiming, 'I’m having relationship problem because of Dad/Mom/Rough Childhood/The Holy Grail.'” Amen.

And I love Vanessa's comment: "I find if the character achieves some sort of growth by the end of the story, I’m happy. But if that character is shy, maybe they’re just shy. Born that way. Always a quiet kid. Do we really have to give them a domineering parent that berated them and put them down as the cause of that shyness? Or some big public humiliation (left at the alter in a small town wedding?) Sometimes things just are."

Yes! I hate to be touched. I could probably turn that into a good IC for some character who doesn't want to be intimate. But is it because of some horrible trauma? No. I was never a physically affectionate kid, and I'm not a physically affectionate adult. But would that fly for a heroine? Nope. I'd have to come up with some strong, compelling reason for her to not like physical affection.

So yeah, external conflict is much easier for me to write. In fact, I love writing it, and the more messy the better.

Funny, but the same is not true in real life. Yes, I'm switching gears, but it's still all about conflict.

I hate conflict in real life. I hate when my family fights. I hate when my friends fight. I don't like seeing friction in the romance community because it makes me want to retreat into my own little world and not come out until the fallout is cleared.

So that's what I'm going to do right now. I'm going to crawl into a hole and stay there for a while. I will probably post, but I'm staying right here in my home and not opening the shades or stepping outside.

To all my friends...I love you. Don't forget that!

Monday, April 11, 2005 @ 09:27 AM CST [link]

Sunday Quiz

I can't remember where I got this one. And I can't figure out how I got a "Warm cozy!" Must have been the "flannel sheets" and "fluffy kitty" answer...

The Warm Cozy Hmm, very interesting! You scored 115!

Well liked, and so well loved that the binding is worn through. Strong character is the driving force of the story and indeed what draws such high sales. A little suspense spices up a predictably happy ending, so you make for great reading on a rainy day in front of a roaring fire – very cozy indeed. People are known to pack you in with their luggage because they want a real treat while on holiday. A warm cozy is always good company.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 2% on bookpoints

Link: The What Kind Of Book Are You Test written by saucygirl on Ok Cupid

Sunday, April 10, 2005 @ 08:58 AM CST [link]

Buffet Of Stuff

No one topic today. I just feel the need to ramble.

1) Let's start with yesterday's trip to the pharmacy to buy more syringes for my cat's insulin. The pharmacist had given me ten syringes, or 5 days' worth. My cat will probably be on insulin for the rest of her life, so obviously, 10 syringes isn't going to cut it.

So I ask for more. He says that I don't need more because I only had enough insulin for 10 doses. I tell him that's because HE LABELLED THE BOTTLE WRONG. The bottle is good for at least 30 doses. So he looks up the info.

Pharmacist: See, it says 3ML per dose, so the bottle would be gone in 10 doses.

Me: That dose is 100 TIMES more than I'm supposed to give my cat. If I gave her the dose you put on the bottle, I'd have killed her.

Pharmacist: Are you sure?

Me: It's a nine-pound cat. What kind of cat did you think I had when you typed up the label? An African lion?

He gets all huffy but gives me another 10 syringes. On Monday I'm calling the vet and making HIM explain to those goofballs that I have a small cat and not a lion.

2) It's a bloodbath on the eHarlequin Temptation thread. There have been 6 rejections over the last 3 days. 6!!! Just bam, bam, bam! I'm praying that Snowbound didn't get caught up in the slaughter, because blood on snow is horrifying.

3) Joely freaked me out today with her talk of plotting, because I'm just starting to plot a new story. What method do I use? ACK! None! I HAVE NO METHOD! I've tried them all, I think, and none work. I'm always amazed when a book comes together, because I have no idea how it happened. I hate this weakness. I like to have structure and concrete methods that work every time. I dislike uncertainty and feeling lost and not being good at something.

But you know what I'm good at? Computer games. So I think I'll go play one, right after I give my lion a shot.

Saturday, April 09, 2005 @ 08:50 AM CST [link]

Interchangeable Characters

HelenKay recently blogged about voice (something I'll stay away from--I don't want to get caught up in that mess again! ) and she brought up an issue that I've been thinking about. What if I eventually get to the point where I'm writing different stories but the same character over and over?

For example, there's a bestselling contemporary author whose work I can't stand. One of the reasons is that her heroes are interchangeable. You could take the hero from book X and switch him with the hero from book Y without a problem. Clearly this works for her because she's popular, but it drives me nuts.

I've gone back and looked at all my heroes and heroines, and so far none could be switched out, especially my heroes. Still, the paranoia is there. Lurking like bad horror movie monster. Does anyone else worry about this? I mean, it isn't a MAJOR concern--one thing I'm super picky about is characterization--but the thought crosses my mind. I've never made a conscious effort to make my characters different from any others I've written, but now I think the thought will always be with me.

Friday, April 08, 2005 @ 07:56 AM CST [link]

Is it acceptable...

to tell someone who sent you something to crit that if they send it to a publisher they'll humiliate themselves and that the editor who reads it will probably put out a restraining order against them?

Probably not, huh?

Sigh. The thing is, this girl's work has been sliding downhill for a long time, but no one will tell her the truth. They're all afraid to, because she's one of those people who doesn't handle the truth well. She SAYS she wants you to be honest, but when you are, she flips out. Gets mad and then goes on a "I'm a loser who can't write so I should just give up," fit. People have been burned by being honest with her (including me,) so I'm tempted to just tell her the story is wonderful and call it good.

But that SO goes against my nature because 1) I hate to lie, and 2) I have this burning need to fix things. And that has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. You'd think I'd learn.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Advice?

Thursday, April 07, 2005 @ 08:43 AM CST [link]

In Limbo

Well, with no pressing crises (though we are expecting another storm system similar to the one that brought floods and power outages the other day,) I have to decide what to do.

See, I mailed Snowbound (woo hoo!) so it should arrive in England any day. I feel such a HUGE sense of relief. And of...emptiness. I have NO idea what I'm going to work on now. I have some crits to catch up on, but I'm sort of directionless as far as writing. I have a partial novella written for Brava, and I have an ST that needs to be revised so I can submit it to agents. I also have a few ideas for new Temptations that I could flesh out. Argh! I have no idea what I want to work on!

I have A Plan for when I sell, depending on what I sell, but until then...?

What do you uncontracted writers do after you finish a project? Do you already have a project lined up, or are you thrown into a state of uncertainty?

Oh, and thanks to Shannon, I now have an obituary. How ironic that in it, I've died of the thing I'm most terrified of--being buried alive. Oh, and I just love the adult bookstore bit! LOL

"We regret to announce the untimely expiration of Larissa Ione, who on the 3rd of January of this year was callously buried alive by a deranged axe-murderer. This unfortunate incident occurred in an adult bookstore at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Quick! Put this on!" just before expiring. Larissa Ione is survived by some thankless family members, who are even now looting the personal effects of the departed. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month."

Wednesday, April 06, 2005 @ 08:20 AM CST [link]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

My kitty, Geordie, is better!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize for taking so long to update, but I wanted to make sure she was over the hump. Yesterday when I took her to the vet, she was at Death's door. Really. She didn't have much time left. She hadn't eaten more than a couple of teaspoons of food per day for a week, and no water. She could no longer support herself on her back legs, and she could barely lift her head at times. Her eyes were glazed, her fur limp and dull.

The vet took x-rays and blood, but he wasn't real optimistic. The x-rays showed suspicious spots that are probably tumors, likely cancer. But that wasn't the problem, nor is it likely to be anytime soon. So that's good news.

It was the blood that revealed the culprit. It wasn't mild diabetes like he first thought. It was SEVERE, advanced diabetes. She'd gone into a state of ketoacidosis and was on her way down. He dosed her with insulin, and the proper course of treatment would have been to keep her at the office for a couple of days on an IV and testing throughout the day to check her glucose levels, but we were both so stressed that he didn't think keeping her would be a good idea. Plus, she won't eat in strange places, and if there was any hope of getting her to, she had to come home with me.

So I brought her home with insulin and shots, and just 1 1/2 hours after that first shot, she was eating and drinking like, well...like she hadn't eaten or drank anything for a week. It was awesome!

Then she went through the "low" period at about 5 hours after the first dose, where he blood sugar bottoms out. She went pretty unresponsive and dazed, so I gave her some treats and brought her out of it. And later I gave her the second shot, and she did well again. Yay!

She's not out of the woods yet; it'll take a few weeks to get her insulin dosage figured out and her glucose levels regulated, and then there's still the matter of the infection to deal with (which was caused by the diabetes.) But I'm cautiously optimistic. It'll be a lot of work to give her insulin twice a day and carefully control her diet, but you know, she's worth it!!!

Thanks so much for all the well wishes! You all are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to take a nap now!

Tuesday, April 05, 2005 @ 07:00 AM CST [link]

Kitty

Took a turn for the worse last night. I was up with her all night, and I mean ALL NIGHT. Not one minute of sleep. I'm going to have to take her to the vet this morning, and I'm really afraid that she won't be coming back.

Monday, April 04, 2005 @ 06:25 AM CST [link]

Sunday Quiz

It's Sunday! Which means that I'm tired because I stayed up too late last night, and worse, we went to daylight savings time, which sucks. I HATE the time change. I don't mind "fall forward," but "spring back" makes me want to move to Arizona where they're smart enough to not go through this.

Sunday also means NASCAR and blog fluff. So in honor of blog fluff, here's a quiz, thanks to Daria.

You are a Go-Go Girl! Yay you!


What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, April 03, 2005 @ 08:22 AM CST [link]

Saturday Fun

Yesterday was a pretty enjoyable day despite the power, cable, and internet outages. I got to watch all the morons (I got pictures, but unfortunately, dh took the digital camera so you have to wait for the roll to be developed before I can post them,) and when we had power but no cable or internet, I played the D&D RPG game I'd been dying to play for months. It's called Neverwinter Nights, and I'm not sure if I like it or not. I MUCH prefer Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale because you can have large parties of adventurers you control, but with NWN you get TWO, and you only have full control over one. Plus, the 3rd edition D&D rules suck. (Boy, I sound like a geek, huh?)

Also, go buy my CP's debut novel! Lydia Joyce's The Veil of Night should be appearing at stores near you, and if you order it online, don't forget to go through the ASPCA's link and help out some animals!

Anyway, I need to go play NWN, so I'll leave you with some jokes a friend sent to one of my groups. Enjoy!

Writer/Editor Humor

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I can't tell whether you mean 'change a light bulb' or 'have sex
in a light bulb'. Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?

Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. But first they have to rewire the entire building.

Q: How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors.
Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be
changed? It seems inconsistent.

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should
just query them.

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, and two to hold down the author.

Q: How many booksellers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, and they'll be glad to do it too, except no one shipped
them any.

Saturday, April 02, 2005 @ 10:02 AM CST [link]

Crazy Around Here

The last couple of days have been nuts. And today is shaping up as another nut day.

Thanks, everyone, for the well-wishes for my cat. The trip to the vet was traumatic, probably more for me than her. I kept crying whenever they did anything to her. I'm such a wuss.

Anyway, it turns out that part of her problem is diabetes. The rest of it is a massive blood infection that the vet suspects is either caused by a sensitivity to something, parasites (hopefully not heartworms,) or leukemia. She's on antibiotics, special food, and anti-inflammatories, and hopefully she'll start feeling better in the next couple of days. If not, she'll need more extensive tests.

Remember that body that was found near my house? It ended up being a 14-year old boy, and the suspect was arrested last night. Which made me feel better about the Ocean Springs police department after I heard the lead investigator say they were going to "ES-cavate" the body. Oy.

Storms knocked out my power a couple of times yesterday and overnight, and this morning we were late getting up for school because of it. Turned on the news, and learned that we'd gotten 8 inches of rain overnight and the schools were closed because of flooding. I looked outside, and my backyard is completely underwater, and the roads in front of my house are one big lake. So you know what my entertainment has been this morning? I've been standing in my garage taking pictures of the dumbasses trying to cross the water and getting stuck. I'm sure the dumbasses appreciate being photographed during their time of extreme stupidity. Now the road is littered with flooded-out cars, and no tow trucks can get out here because the entire county is underwater. VERY cool!

Off to take more pics! LOL

Friday, April 01, 2005 @ 07:17 AM CST [link]