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08/23/2005: "Tench...HUT! Pa-rade...REST!"

You military people totally get the heading. You non-military people probably think I've lost my mind...

A man is rowing a boat on a small lake. The sun is shining, birds are singing, fish are biting, and he's singing the Air Force's song, "Off we go, into the wild blue yon-der..." God looks down and thinks, "Hmm, here is obviously an intelligent guy. I wonder what would happen if I took away half his brain?"

So POOF! Half the dude's brain is gone. He's still rowing, still singing, "Off we go, into the wild blue yon-der..."

God's impressed. He thinks, "Still smart. Let's take away 3/4ths of his brain."

POOF! The man is operating on 1/4 of his brain. He's still singing "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder..."

God is seriously impressed. Clearly, the guy is a genius. So God decides to take away the man's entire brain. Leave him with nothing but air.

POOF! The guy, now a moron, keeps rowing. And singing, "Be. All that you can be..."

Okay, you probably have to be military to completely appreciate the joke. And clearly, it's funniest if you were/are Air Force. Not so funny if you are Army.

Anyway, I love a good military hero. There's just something about a man in uniform, be it military, police, paramedic...I adore the confidence and competence that seems to go hand-in-hand with the wearing of a uniform. But the extra special feature that makes the military hero something appeals to the deepest, most primitive female instincts is the ability to protect and defend, and provide for his mate.

Granted, today's women aren't likely to be stuck in a jungle and in need of protection and food. But if you were, who better to care for you than a SEAL or PJ?

But not all women are as appreciative of the military hero. One woman says in the comments of Lynn M's post on the subject, "But soldiers or ex-soldiers aren't my preferred hero, whatever the premise or situation. It's just something about the military mindset which bothers me (and you may remember having had this conversation with me in another context ). Even having had a good friend who was a former soldier and coming to respect him for what he stood for, I still hated the fact that he'd been trained to kill other human beings and had in fact killed."

And "I know my dislike of military backgrounds is more pronounced because I'm not North American; in some other countries, the military tends to be viewed somewhat differently, less revered. Attitudes vary from respect to my own perception, which is that the armed forces are a necessary evil and can occasionally attract the sort of person who is really just on a power trip. And therefore, to me, military heroes, almost whatever the context, are really a total turn-off."

Now, I understand that not everyone likes a military hero. Tastes in men are personal and diverse. I don't see the appeal of sheiks, but they are well-loved by others. To each her own.

I also realize that there are natural biases that can lead a dislike of military heroes. The media has portrayed American soldiers as thugs, as dumb, sometimes cruel, killing machines with no redeeming qualities. Also, in many countries, the military force is nothing of which to be proud.

What people don't realize is that military heroes don't have to be gun-toting badasses. In real life, 85% of our military men and women are not employed in fighting jobs. Most work in areas of support. If there is a civilian equivalent, the military probably has it. Cooks, electricians, plumbers, meteorologists, pest exterminators, doctors, mechanics, veterinarians. These are not people who are "trained to kill." In fact, everyone who joins the military is taught how to SAVE lives. Does that mean they can't use a gun if they need to? Nope. They were all taught how to use a weapon. They were taught methods to survive if captured by enemy forces or lost in the desert. But trained killers? Hardly.

Even the combat forces are rarely called upon to take up arms. In peacetime, soldiers build houses, fight forest fires, rebuild disaster zones after hurricanes and floods. They hold fund-raisers for charities and collect toys for Toys for Tots.

Sure, there are bad apples, just as there are in any job. And no group of people is perfect. I know I certainly have some beefs with the military after serving myself. But I also have a lot of respect for the training, and for the abilities one must possess in order to complete some of the training.

In fact, the very qualities needed to complete SEAL, PJ, and Ranger training (among others) are what makes military heroes attractive to women like me. Even as independent and self-sufficient as I am, a man who appeals to my primitive side, the side that wants a man to make me feel safe whether in the jungle or in my own backyard, is a man I want in the pages of a book.

Hoo-rah, baby!

Replies: 13 brave souls responded

on Tuesday, August 23rd, Emma S said

My brother-in-law just graduated from the Naval Academy and every time I saw him (and his friends) I found myself looking for the future military romance hero in them.

I didn't really find it. Not in the future pilots, not in the future SEALs, not in the future sailors.

Maybe it's just because they're so darn young...

on Tuesday, August 23rd, Danica said

Emma, I almost married a guy fresh out of the Naval Academy. I think it is because they're young... there's just so much they don't get. And boy, am I glad I didn't marry the guy. Even though I do have the hots for SEALs.

I agree with the whole training bit... it really takes a lot, especially in the character strength department to be in any of the special ops. I talked to a guy who just retired from the SEALs (although do they ever retire? He retired once and went back, this time he was injured and retired, but I bet he'd go back if he was asked).

on Tuesday, August 23rd, Steph T. said

Did someone say SEALs?

on Tuesday, August 23rd, Shannon said

I'm an Air Force brat and hubby's a former Marine, so we laughed at the joke.

on Wednesday, August 24th, Maili said

Ha! I admit not being a fan of military heroes because my experiences with British soldiers, specifically former members of the SAS. A friend of mine was married to a member of the SAS and their experiences aren't uncommon among couples like them.
This isn't to say that all men are horrible [my friend's ex was actually a nice man]. It's just that a man in his position isn't ideal for a marriage or relationship. You'd have to be incredibly patient and idealistic to deal with the downsides of being married to a man in his position, including dealing with his mood swings, secretive nature, intense emotional issues that he can't discuss with you, and long periods of absence, and all the while, you can't ask questions. You also have to deal with a weird balance of being a single mother who deals with responibilities at home alone and when he gets home, a wife who shares responsibilities with him. Plus the country and men in his group come first in his life, not you.
So, if a romance features a member of the SEALs or a special ops outfit, I usually can't buy into this fantasy because the reality is horribly real to ignore. Again, I'm sure most men are nice, but I just don't think, while it seems that they are ideal romantic heroes, the HEA is realistic. In fairness, while the majority of them are divorced, there is a few wives who are stubborn enough to put up with the downsides to hold on to their marriages, but they pay a very high price, particularly with their children.

on Wednesday, August 24th, Larissa said

Emma, I know what you mean! They ARE young! I used to bartend at an Officer's Club on a base that trained new pilots fresh out of the Academy. There was nothing heroic about those young, cocky morons. And on my husband's boat, I'm always looking for hero material, but...not so much.

Still, while there might not be a lot of obvious hero material there, I have to respect that these young Coastie guys chose a job that puts their lives at risk in order to save others.

Danica, I'm with ya on the young, and on the strength of character thing. I know it was hard enough for me to complete Basic...I don't know how I would have managed anything more physically demanding, though I did almost go into paraweather training, which would have put me training with Army Rangers!

SEALs, Steph! SEALs! (Look, everyone...she's drooling!)

Glad you got a kick out of the joke, Shannon!

Maili, I totally understand. In reality, the SEALs I've known have not been ideal marriage material. One of my best friend's cousin is married to an ex one, and wow...the guy is a serious jerk.

And being a military spouse myself, I do deal with a lot of what you mentioned--being a single mom and then sharing responsibilites again, etc., and it's do-able. You just have to be a certain type of person to deal with it. Not that I always deal well!

I think I like military romances (they don't have to involve special force guys,) simply because although there's always an HEA, you never SEE the reality of military life with the kids and the moves and the stress. You get the fantasy, and since romances, for me, are all about the men and the fantasy, I'm willing to buy it!

on Wednesday, August 24th, Sharon said

Fantasy, yes. Reality, no thanks

I have lots of military, police and EMS people in my family, and I am one of those people who will freakishly defend anyone who serves in the military. Fastest way to PISS me off is for some dumbass to start making blanket assumptions about "baby killers" and for the general public to start trashing on the military just because they're doing their job.

Oops. Stepping. Off. Soapbox.

on Wednesday, August 24th, Lynn Daniels said

I'm willing to overlook quite a bit for the sake of fantasy.

My husband's a Marine, honorably discharged, my father was Air Force, my ex-father-in-law a SEAL. All three outstanding men. Yeah, I've known some military guys who give the word ARROGANT new meaning, but I like military heroes in romance.

And my husband got a kick out of the joke.

on Wednesday, August 24th, Amy said

Suzanne Brockmann has made me a military hero fan. Since I don't personally know many military men, I can't say whether it's fantasy or real, but I do love stories with military heroes.

on Wednesday, August 24th, Teresa said

I don't mind the military hero. Really as long as the hero is "real" and grounded. I can read him. But if I can't lose myself then I have a problem.

on Thursday, August 25th, Michelle said

Since I mostly read historicals, I can't say that there are true military heroes...but give me a warrior hero any day.

(and I was a former Air Force brat, too).

on Thursday, August 25th, Larissa said

What you said, Sharon!

I like 'em too, Lynn! Glad your hubby got a kick out of the joke--with so many Marines around here, I should have made fun of them instead of the Army!

Amy, Suzanne was who introduced me to milroms, and I still love them!

Teresa, I pretty much have to have that with anything I read. It's weird, because I want fantasy, but at the same time, I want a "real" feel to it. Hard to explain...

Michelle, I hear ya on the warriors. I LOVE a good medieval with a warrior-type hero!

on Tuesday, August 30th, mccreadie67@hotmail.com">Lynn M said

I'm really late to this party, but here goes.

I'm like Amy in that Suzanne Brockmann is single-handedly responsible for turning me into a military hero freak. I've said before that these guys represent, to me, the modern equivalent of the knight in shining armor. They are one way we can have manly-men heroes play out the rescue-scenario in modern, PC times and kind of get away with it.

As for the reality of being involved with a military guy, I can imagine it would suck. At least the spec ops guys, I mean. They are gone all the time, you would never know where they were or when they'd get back. You'd basically be a single parent. Not to mention the personality type that succeeds in such a profession is probably not the easiest type to get along with.

But, in the name of entertainment, I'm able to overlook all of that. I just try to not think too deeply about the day to day, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash kind of details. I like stories that are bigger than life, so the heroes can be bigger than life, too.