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03/22/2004: "Jeff Foxworthy on Oregon"

Over the weekend I got two slightly different versions of a Jeff Foxworthy routine about Oregon, my home state. I have no idea if he really performed the routine, but everything on this list is true anyway. Oregonians and people who have visited Oregon (pronounced OR-uh-gun, NOT OR-uh-gone) will understand. Everyone else will think Oregonians are nuts.

My husband lived there for 3 years, and I remember him coming home from work one day and saying, "Oregonians are SO weird. They won't cross the street, even if it's deserted, if the sign says 'Don't Walk.' I walked. People glared. Oregonians are weird."

He still gets mad at me when I won't cross against a light in other states. "You aren't in Oregon anymore, you freak!" Maybe not, but I still feel guilty...

Anyway, I combined the two slightly different lists into one. Bekke, you'll appreciate #33!

You might be from Oregon if:

01. You know the state flower (mildew).
02. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
03. You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
04. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
05. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
06. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
07. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain without an umbrella waiting for the "Walk" signal.
08. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
09. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working 8 hour shifts.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks".
18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
21. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
22. You put on your shorts and fire up the barbecue when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
25. You think people who use umbrellas are wimps, tourists or women with a good hair day going.
26. You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was a fake.
27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time. Or better yet, you continue to wear your sunglasses on cloudy and rainy days.
28. You measure distance in drive time.
29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
30. You use a down comforter in the summer.
31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
33. You don't know how to pump your own gas and that's the way you like it.
34. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter (Winter), Still raining(Spring) Road construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

Replies: 9 brave souls responded

on Monday, March 22nd, Mica said

Oh, I can't stand people to misprounouce "Willamette". We used to order copy paper from a company called Willamette and everyone at the office said it wrong. Like fingernails on a chalkboard to someone like me who lived in the Willamette Valley for so long!!!

on Monday, March 22nd, Larissa said

LOL--Yes! I grew up in the Willamette Valley, and I still cringe when I hear how most people prounounce it!

on Monday, March 22nd, Bekke said

How DO you pronounce Willamette?

Oh, and a lot of these could apply just as well to Norwegians.

on Monday, March 22nd, Larissa said

Ooh, I'll have to visit Norway! Seriously, I'd LOVE to see Norway. In Astoria, (OR-uh-gun,) there is a huge Norwegian and Swedish population. Mmm, the best bakeries and shops. Yum.

Anyway, Willamette--(wool-AM-it) or (will-AM-it) People who aren't from Oregon tend to pronounce it WILLA-mitt. *shudders*

on Monday, March 22nd, Warren (yes again) said

I don't care if you cross the street or not, if know how to pronounce your own name let alone Willamette and dammit, I love the norwegian food. I just want to get back there as soon as possible. Land of the duck feathered mole people beconds!! I must return.

on Tuesday, March 23rd, Bekke said

Yes, WILLA-mitt was how I imagined it was pronounced, and so I suspected that was wrong.

I do know that it's OR-uh-gun, however.

Also, being Norwegian, I feel I'm fully justified in wondering what the hell is wrong with someone who loves Norwegian food...

on Tuesday, March 23rd, Larissa said

Don't worry, Warren, we'll get you back there. I know how much you just LOVED Astoria!

I love Norwegian food, Bekke! Well, the pastries. Not so fond of some of the fish dishes. But the pastries...mmm. Actually, I think it's a European food thing in general. I wanna go back!!!!

on Thursday, March 25th, Lydia said

People form the midwest have problems with that state. I've noticed that they say... OR-gan or Or-a-gan or something that's just not quite right.

We Texans pronounce it right!

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